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Urban Blind Jousting (Not in the X-Games Yet): A True Story – Indignant Humor

I walked into the library and right by the checkout desk was a somewhat odd sight. A heavyset woman wearing sunglasses, sitting on one of those electric scooters built like a chair that you see on late night cable commercials and holding a white cane.

“Nah,” I thought to myself. “That can’t possibly be what it looks like.”

I went about my business and entered the checkout line. Sure enough there was the woman on the scooter. A librarian was talking to her and while they were chatting, the woman seemed to be looking off into space. I was starting to suspect it was indeed what it looked like. Suddenly the women lifted the cane, showing a foot or so of red at the end of the white cane and the librarian walked her out the door.

As I checked out, my internal dialogue consisted largely of disbelief and denial. Book in hand, I exited the library, turned left on the sidewalk and stopped dead in my tracks.

Half a block down was the heavyset woman on the scooter, her blind man’s cane sticking straight out in front of the scooter like she was Ivanhoe in a jousting tournament, she was aimed straight at me.

I stood their briefly puzzled why she should be jousting in my direction. Then it occurred to me, I couldn’t have been more than 2 minutes behind her in leaving the library. She must’ve gone a block without realizing it was the wrong direction and doubled back. If she wasn’t totally blind, she sure shooting must have been legally blind and not had a very wide range of vision and if I didn’t move, I was going to find out the hard way just how pointy that cane was.

I zagged to the edge of the curb and, fortunately, she kept going in a very straight line near the other edge of the sidewalk, zipping along a bit faster than a person normally walks. It was straight of a surrealist comedy, and I was relieved to note as the lance/cane went by that the shade of red was too light and reflective to be blood from people she’d pierced and run over. Pity the small child not large enough to be seen until a couple feet away, or ex-small child as the case might be.

I’ve heard of urban surfing. I’ve heard of urban running. Now I’ve seen urban blind jousting. I really hope this isn’t going to be part of the next X-Games

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